03.23.09
Posted in Communication, God Centered, relationship at 7:34 pm by Administrator
I hate to admit it but I really get mad when things don’t go my way. That is when most of us begin praying. We ask God that if he will only do _______ (Fill in the blank) then we will be _______ (Insert whatever religious, godly or pious action here). What are we trying to do here? I would submit to you that this is nothing better than a spiritual begging at best or a full blown spiritual fit at its worst.
What are we really trying to do here? I was reminded of what my true motive may be when I read a blog piece by a friend of mine named Patrick Oden. We try to force God to do our will. I do this way too often when I look at my own experience. Yet when I look at my life during various episodes of disappointment I realize I was bargaining with God. I got mad when I didn’t get what I wanted. Looking back, I am reminded of Garth Brooks’ song “Unanswered Prayers”. In the song, he thanks God for unanswered prayers because he ended up with something wonderful in the end despite not getting what he was asking for in his prayers at the time.
Recent events have made me realize that sometimes we have to just let go of what we want and just trust God to provide.
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02.11.09
Posted in Communication, Pain, love, relationship at 11:43 am by Administrator
I have been going through a very difficult time in my life. The difficulties came to a head last Thursday in an event that took me to a place I never dreamed I would ever go. Yet despite the traumatic event in a rather hard episode in my life, I found God’s hand everywhere I went.
To put it bluntly, I was diagnosed with suffering from Major Depression and ended up in a mental health facility where I was literally locked down for almost a week. Despite the sadness, anger and frustration I was feeling, I was comforted by the strangest of people and found myself talking about God with people I never in my life would have dreamed I ever would. The experience really brought Matthew 25: 34-46 to life.
“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’
Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
“The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’
“Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’
“They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’
“He will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’
“Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”
My first thought was that I was locked up with a bunch of crazy people. After all, i was quite normal. I found myself surrounded with people struggling with voices in their heads, those that claimed they had demons in them, bi-polar disorders, addictions, anger management issues, and a myriad of emotional problems. I felt like the sober person at a party full of drunks. But I found I was struggling with many of the same things that they were. A wonderful counselor told us that all of these problems that many of us were dealing with centered around how self centered we really were. We didn’t want to do what needed to be done so we lashed out in our own selfish ways.
Yet many in there were so selfless in so many ways. I was conforted by a lady singing gospel songs who was brought in due to hearing voices and walking down the middle of the freeway. When I was at my lowest, I was conforted by a lady who had nearly overdosed because she felt overwhelmed by the problems of her son, and another who had come in feeling like she was worthless and without hope. I found that all these people were people who wanted and needed love just like you or I. God allowed me to help a young man with anger issues to accept Jesus for the first time in his life and he and I prayed together during most of my stay.
Towards the end, my conversations turned to a man named Mark, who had called in a bomb threat and kept telling me his life was over, I realized that all these people were human and worthy of God’s love. Mark kept saying his life was over and there was nothing left. He was truly hopeless. I shared with him the plight of Jonah in Jonah 2 and he could relate. Yet somehow I knew I needed to tell him that he was a person of worth in my eyes. That he was a person who was loved. He was upset when I left and he came up to me and asked a question that will stick with me for the rest of my life.
“Will you remember me? Will you pray for me like you said you would?”
I told him I would and I would ask anyone reading this blog to also pray for Mark who is in a very dark place. I thank God that I had my issue if only to be that small beacon of light that reached Mark.
So how many of us ask God, “Will you remember me?” “Am I worthy to be remembered?” We ask if our God will come and save us and i believe he does, just not always in the way we expect. I just think it is awesome that in the hardest times, God is there walking with us.
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02.02.09
Posted in Communication, God in general, community, love, relationship at 10:13 am by Administrator
Recently I read a post by my friend Jonathan Brink called With Great Patience . I found myself profoundly touched by this piece as it really struck home with some situations that I have been dealing with. I would suggest that if you haven’t read Jonathan Brink’s blog before, that you should check it out.
My friend Jonathan runs a ministry call Thrive Ministries . It is focused on bringing people back into relationship with one another as God truly intends it. He refers to it by the term communitas. In a way, many of my recent posts have been focused on my own struggles to come into communitas with several people around me. His post reminds me of how we can get caught up in being worried about “defending” ourselves instead of reaching out in love. His comments about how we build fortresses and walls that we think will protect us but in truth really isolate us and keep us away from what we are truly searching for. Relationship.
There was one phrase he used that really struck me and I think this is where many of us fail in this pursuit of communitas or relationship with others.
When someone reveals their brokenness in a way that affects the rest of the community, the natural impulse is to correct and to rebuke, even in love. We get the first half of Paul’s words. They’re empowering and important. But do we also include the words, “With great patience.”
I realized today that when someone doesn’t get it, it requires us to love even more. And we don’t like that, do we? We want relationships to be easy and fun. But grace has no end. God isn’t sitting up there wondering if He should break trust with us. He’s not wondering, “When are these people going to get it already?” His love is this insane ability to stay in trust with us even in our brokenness, even when we don’t get it.
I was stunned as I read that when someone doesn’t get it, it requires us to love even more. I knew this to be true but I wondered how I personally got so off track. I know I don’t like that. I want to be right. I want to win. I want to be heard. Yet that isn’t the example that God gives us.
Isn’t that what Christianity is really about? Relationships… both with our God and with others fostered by our love and service to one another.
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Posted in Communication, relationship at 9:43 am by Administrator
How often do we say something and qualify it with a “BUT”….? We put exceptions and conditions on the things we say. An apology is not truly an apology if it includes a conditional but. A relationship is not a truly a true relationship if it is limited by the constraints of the “Buts”. Yet we qualify things all the time. I shouldn’t of hurt you BUT you had it coming. I shouldn’t of said that BUT I felt hurt and lonely. I shouldn’t have done that BUT I didn’t want to be embarrassed. What are the BUTs that are limiting your life? What conditions are you putting on your relationships not only with God but also with others.
You know sometimes it just better to come out and say what you truly mean. Sometimes it works so much better when a statement is made without all the conditional clauses. We should say what we mean. We should take responsibility for our own actions. We should own the remorse that we have for hurting others without trying to pawn part of the blame off on the other person using the conditional BUT phrases. I like what James has to say about it.
If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does. (James 1:5-8)
When I look at what God has offered us in the form of his own son. The grace he offers is unconditional. It doesn’t have a BUT but it without condition. It’s done straight from love.
Are we double minded and full of BUTs? Think about it……
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01.22.09
Posted in Communication, God in general, Pain, relationship at 9:49 am by Administrator
Fear can make people do many things they never thought they would do. It is amazing how fear can force us to do things that we never wanted to do or intended to do. Yet being driven by fear always seems to run counter to being driven by love.
Recently I saw a couple who loved each other very much spiral out of control to the brink of divorce because they were driven by fear. The words I heard most was “I have to defend myself”. Both were worried about the other hurting them so they were driven by fear to “defend themselves” when what they both wanted was to reconcile and love one another. So I ask this question. How often are we driven by fear to “defend ourselves” when what we should be doing is forgiving and reconciling? How often are problems that we are facing escalated because we react in fear? Fear clouds our judgment as we slip into a mode where all we do is think about ourselves versus what God wants. I think that is what the apostle John is saying when he says in 1 John 4:16-18. I like how the Message paraphrases it best to illustrate this point.
God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we’re free of worry on Judgment Day—our standing in the world is identical with Christ’s. There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love.
Fear is crippling as I showed in the illustration of the couple who came to the brink of divorce. Yet I am glad to say that this couple ultimately chose love and backed away from the precipice. Yet we need to look at our own lives and see where fear is crippling us. We need to let God into those places and let his love banish those fears. So where ever your fears resides: in your relationships, in your finances, in your job, or where ever else; let God into those areas and let his love set you free.
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08.25.08
Posted in Communication, Holy Spirit, prayer at 12:33 am by Administrator
I know, it kind of sounds like Yoda giving Luke Skywalker some advise, but I truly believe that God talks to us. How God speaks to each one of us will differ as everyone’s walk is different. Only Moses got the burning bush. Noah got a rainbow. I believe that God speaks to us in many ways. It may be through the Scripture, through an experience, through other people, or some for of direct connection.
Case in point, one of my kids and I were traveling down the highway discussing things along the way. My child asked me if I thought God was real. I said yes I believe that God is very real. “Well, how do you know?” was the counter question. “Well, God has spoken to me and he speaks to all who will listen.” At this point, I told my child of several of the experiences I encountered over my years in relationship with Christ. Still struggling with doubt, my child said, “You know, sometimes I wonder if God is really out there.” Before I could reply, I then heard my child say “You have got to be kidding me.” I asked , “What do you mean?”
A big truck had come into my child’s sight. On the front of the truck, was a giant, glowing cross. As soon as the words of doubt had come out of my child’s mouth, this truck came into my child’s view. I never saw the truck, but my child did. It was a powerful message to my child, but I believe it was a message just for my child and not me.
God speaks to us in many different ways. What I experience will be unique to me, though the message will always coincide with the Scriptures. It part of the relationship that God pursues with us and that we should share with Him as well.
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